Sonic Drabble Trouble!
by Taranea
Summary: You name it, I have it. Short cracky crossovers,parodies, and simply calculated insanity. All bundled into this collection of mini-stories for quick entertainment! CHAP 14: Cold War. Nuclear danger. It's Professor SoniX VS Shadneto - hey,WAIT a minute...
1. Ficlet: One Wrong Turn

**Sonic Drabble Trouble!**

_by Taranea_

* * *

**Chapter 1: One Wrong Turn**

Sonic was running.

…which didn´t _quite_ cover the drama. In fact, he was tearing down the street, cars with howling sirens hot on his pursuit as tires screeched over asphalt, squealing like runover kittens. The blue hedgehog was also slightly panicking, since he didn´t recognize his surroundings at all. Where _was_ this place? Just a few moments ago, it seemed, he had tried to rescue Cream from some sick experiment. But _then_, Robotnik´s base had exploded with the Chaos Emeralds and there had been such a bright light…

Sonic noticed one of the cars gaining and poured on an extra dose of speed. The wall of sound shattered and everything _stretched_ as vision hurried to catch up with his velocity.

The hedgehog risked a quick glance back. He quirked an eyeridge as he noticed that for some reason the vehicles had stopped dead and weren´t pursuing anymore. Sonic barely had time to wonder why before he shot head first over the cliff where the road had ended.

He wanted to scream, but the shout stuck in his throat as he saw what was underneath him. A field of lights, which slowly dissolved into houses as he looked closer…a strange calm had settled upon the hero as he soared through the air and for one moment he was just marveling at the strange new world that unfolded itself before his eyes.

And then gravity tapped him on the shoulder and coughed.

"_Aaaaaaah!"_

With his quills now quivering wildly in the rushing winds that accompanied his downward flight, Sonic screamed. The field of lights soon became individual streets. The streets became individual dwellings. The dwellings became houses, gardens and balconies…and Sonic´s destination seemed to be a swimming pool.

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" 

This time, the scream was considerably louder, and noticeably higher pitched.

Sonic flailed in the air wildly, trying desperately to land anywhere but there. To his surprise, a badly executed spind-dash actually seemed to do the trick – his course was slowly pointing away from the pool and while he was falling ever faster, he had now angled his flight successfully to some other destination. All this happened in miliseconds, and Sonic had had barely time to see where he was headed _now_ as he already crashed into a window at full speed. And then into something soft, which probably saved his life.

It turned out to be a bed. A _big _bed.

Someone screamed. Sonic looked up dizzily, wishing that the person would show some consideration for window pane-induced headaches, and shut the hell up. However, his words died on his tongue as he actually _saw_ the screamer. It was a human. A boy, to judge by his short height. A very panicked boy. His green eyes had a wild look in them and the shock of black hair on his head looked unruly, accentuating his bewildered state. Sonic also noticed the strange wound on the other's forehead and was for a second worried that his shattering the glass might have hurt the human, but then noticed that it was just an oddly shaped scar, healed years ago.

The strangest thing was however, that the boy didn´t seem to be that afraid of _him_, but was rather shooting furtive, panicky glances at the still closed door, as if waiting for something even more terrible to happen any minute now.

And then Sonic heard the deep, hollering voice:

"HARRY! WHAT IS THIS RACKET?! I SWEAR, IF I COME UP NOW AND FIND YOUR DISTURBED SCHOOL PEOPLE UP THERE WITH YOU, YOU WILL BE IN _TROUBLE!" _Stompingfollowed.

The boy turned a miserable look on the hedgehog.

"Are you a friend of Dobby´s, or something?"

* * *

Short, amusing stuff as promised. :D 

Much more to follow, so put this on alert - 'complete' just means that each chappie can stand on its own. Things included here will be, among others:

_Ficlets_ - mini-stories, like above

_Drabbles_ - 100 word writings

_Spin-offs - _if there´s anything that spawns from my other two epics

...and increasingly bad, but hopefully entertaining _poetry_. ;)

**Hope you liked, and please review:-) ** (or check out my longer fics! An awesome idea, I tell you!)


	2. Ficlet: Heard of the New Game Yet?

**Chapter Two: Heard of the New Game Yet?**

The fight was on.

Completely unexpected, Sonic and Tails had run into three Egg Pawns out in the forest. The robots reared before them and shook their weapons, while both hedgehog and fox were tensing for the battle to come.

Minutes passed.

"...so tell me again why I don't just spin-dash them?"

Tails sighed. "For the last time, this is _turn-based_, Sonic. We wait for everyone to choose their attack and their formation, _then_ we exchange blows."

"…this is so stupid."

"Figures you'd say that, hedgehog. Patience was never your strong suit."

"Knuckles?!" Sonic had left his battle stance and blinked at the echidna that had just appeared and was standing there, crossing his arms in front of his chest and smirking. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"I'm helping you save the world, what does it look like?" the echidna replied, frowning.

"But what about the Master Emerald?" Tails asked, one hand scratching his ear in confusion.

For one minute the Guardian just stared at him, seemingly not comprehending. Suddenly, though, he snipped his fingers.

"Oh yeah, _that_ thing!" Shrugging, he added: "Well, so far I've completely ignored it for everything post SA2B, so I guessed it could take care of itself after all. Makes sense, doesn't it?"

A hundred miles away, a giant flood wave completely destroyed Station Square a second time.

Fortunately, it also drowned Chris Thorndyke in the process.

"No, I mean, why are you here _at all_?" Sonic asked, oblivious like the rest of them, that somewhere far off the greatest of all threats had already been eliminated. "Knuckles, in '_Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood_' you're supposed to be kidnapped._"_

"_What?!"_Knuckles stared at him, horrified. "That's not possible! That was never in the contract! Only female characters get kidnapped! Oh, and Tails," he added as an afterthought.

"Then either you get a butt-propeller or start wearing a dress. I've already out-gangsta'd you anyway." a haughty voice announced, coming from their right.

"Spending twenty hours alternately whining and running into walls due to wonky cameras is called 'retarded' and not gangsta, hedgehog." Knuckles shot back without missing a beat at the Ultimate Lifeform who had just materialized in a flash of Chaos Control. "Besides, your game got voted 'family game of the year.'"

"…I hate you."

"Uh, are you quite finished?" Sonic asked, raising his eye ridges as both Mobians glared at him. "I mean, if we could just get back to the _game at hand_…"

"No, we're not." Knuckles interrupted, "Who made up this stuff about me being kidnapped?"

"I think it's Bioware. They wanted to try something original." Tails replied, leafing through a version of the game script.

"Oh no, I've lost _Froggy!"_

Everybody's expression had frozen. The Mobians stood stock-still, possibly hoping that if they didn't move, they wouldn't be seen. Somewhere in the distant bushes, something large and purple scrambled past.

"What was that?" asked Shadow a few moments later as the threat had passed, the only one that had never seen nor grasped the utter horror of the Fishing Levels.

"…nothing you'd want to know about. Nothing _anyone_ would have ever wanted to know about," Sonic muttered, thoroughly spooked.

"True. Why they decided to bring him back for this game is beyond me." Tails shrugged, going back to his script. "Anyway, the story for this RPG is really interesting. The mysterious enemies that are behind Knux' disappearance are called the Marauders-"

"What, you mean those guys?" the Guardian interrupted him, pointing to the right. A little bit further off stood four other anthropomorphs, the group consisting of a wolf, a dog, a stag and a rat, all of them wearing school uniforms and waving cheerfully. The wolf had his nose in a yellow book entitled 'Echidnapping for Dummies'.

"…it says here we should first blame a person called 'Sonic' for stealing the Master Emerald and then try to trick him, guys."

"Yeah great, Moony, because I'm sure that would _work._ Geez, I wish we at least could have kept our wands…" the black dog had crossed his arms in front of his chest annoyed, while the rat was apparently trying to hide behind an amused stag for protection.

"This is a _jok_e!" Knuckles muttered, his hands before his eyes. "Any reputation I had left is ruined…"

"Great. We have four cosplay villains and one traumatized echidna. Oh, and Big. Anything _else_ that's so great about this game, Tails?" Sonic asked, wondering why on earth Secret Rings 2 had to be postponed for _this.  
_  
"Lemme guess, it'll be something revolutionary like finding the seven Chaos Emeralds. Ooooh, and maybe Eggman won't be the main villain in the game, because _that_ hasn't happened before!" the hedgehog rolled his eyes, while everybody ignored the four strangers now dragging a desolate Knuckles into the woods. The echidna seemed to be too depressed to even struggle.

"Uh, well…" Tails was still leafing through the booklet, "As a novelty, the second part of the game will take place in a much darker world. You will turn into a wolf and have a strange midget riding on your back."

"What the _hell?!" _ Sonic looked pale. He _liked_ being a hedgehog, thankyouverymuch.

"Whoops, wrong game series. Sorry." The two-tail gave an embarrassed chuckle, re-arranging the booklets. "Though that with the dark world for part two is true." He cleared his throat and started again, his face breaking into a smile as he read the next words: "No, actually, you'll find out about your father!"

"My _father? _Mobius to Mr. McCloud, this is SEGA. I don't _have_ any parents in this continuity."

"If this is SEGA, then this isn't Mobius. Get your sonicverses straight and cut the references." Shadow scowled.

"Yeah, and you can't have an RPG without the hero finding out about his father." Tails replied, looking irritated. "That's just weird."

"Fine, then I'll find out I never _had_ a father. How's that for an exciting, last-minute plot-twist? Now where's Knux gone?" Sonic asked, scanning the area impatiently. He was already starting to think he didn't like this game at all.  
"And besides," he grated at the black hedgehog (who was starting to look just a bit too smug for his liking), "there's no reason for _you_ to grin. Heard of the new character 'Shade' yet? I bet my spiny behind that's some long-lost twin of yours or something…"

Shadow's eyes widened, his expression now as terrified as any character who had just been told that his canon was about to turn as bad as his fanfiction.

"Uhm, excuse me…"

"Now _what?!" _ all of the Mobians snapped, turning around to the speaker.

"We have now finished choosing our attacks," The Captain of the Egg Pawns announced, "Can we roll the dice now to determine iniative?"

_Sonic Chronicles - coming 2008_

* * *

Heheheh, the funny part is that this is all true. 

Well. Except for the father bit, but I agree with Tails. Without any 'No, Sonic…-wheeze-…I am your _father_,' I'll be thoroughly disappointed. Then again, I already wanted to beat my head against the wall when I heard about bringing Big in again. Wth? There should only be _one_ cat about, and she might _roast_ frogs but doesn't befriend them.

Seriously though, I _am_ looking forward to this thing. I might even buy a DS. :D Agree/disagree? Favourite parts? Please review!


	3. Ficlet: YOU SHALL NOT CROSS!

So, as a side note, this ficlet also features Merlin Prower from the comics. If you don't read them (or you haven't already seen him in my 'Tales of Shadows' story :) ), he is Tails' uncle and an elderly magician. Please enjoy! :P

For fans of the fandom I'm crossing with, dialogue follows pretty much the scene in the first movie, which I watched about ten times while writing this thing...;)

* * *

_For Rebell, a birthday present in the style of the little folk_

**Chapter 3: YOU SHALL NOT CROSS! **

It was a dark night that the tall, robed figure of Merlin the Grey made its way to the small house of Hog End, the cozy, half-underground domicile where his young friend Sonic Hedgins was living his peaceful life.

But the news Merlin was bearing were anything but peaceful.

"Is it secret? Is it safe?!"

"GAH!" the blue hedgehog spun around where the elder fox had suddenly seized his shoulder from behind and laid a hand upon his tan-furred chest. "Geez, you nearly gave me a heart attack! Merlin, what are you doing here?" he asked, 'here' being his dark living room where he had just intended to go to bed.

"The ring, Sonic. You know why I am here." The words rang out heavily through the room and the hedgehog thought the bearded fox looked a lot more ragged than he had last seen him.

As soon as the blue-furred Mobian had dug up the envelope containing the item from a drawer, however, it was snatched from his hands and Merlin hurled the thing into the fire.

"…the hell?! Maybe I _liked_ that ring?"

But Sonic needn't have worried. The flames were burning up the paper fast, yet the ring remained unchanged, glowing within the embers. The wizard reached into the fire with tongs, extracting the golden circlet and extending it towards the young hedgehog.

"Hold out your hand, Sonic."

"Uh, thanks, but no thanks. I happen to be rather fond of my hands, y'know? All _un_burned and stuff."

"It is _quite cool_," Merlin replied, just a tiny, un-wizard-ish tinge of annoyance in his voice now. The hedgehog shrugged and obeyed. Then he stared at the glowing gold ring in wonder…

"What do you see…?" the wizard whispered behind him, and emerald eyes widened as suddenly writing began to appear…

"Prop…property of SEG-_hey_!" Sonic protested as the taller fox suddenly grabbed the ring from his grasp and scowled.

"That's _not_ what it says!"

"Is too," the hedgehog mumbled, but didn't argue further when the wizard gave the thing back to him. "But anyway, what brings you here, Merlin? Just the ring and copyright infringements?"

"No," the wizard replied ominously, "There lies a dark journey ahead of you, Sonic."

"Really?" the hedgehog's ears perked up. "Where do I have to go?"

"We will need to travel to Rivendell to gather the broken sword of Elendil-"

There was the briefest flutter of winds and Merlin's gaze darted from one corner of the room to the other in suspicion, but upon not seeing anything, he returned his stare to the hedgehog still in front of him.

"…then it is of the utmost importance that we warn the country of Rohan against the impending threat of Snivaruman who builds his army at Isengard," – again a movement of air and Merlin suddenly whirled around to the window. He reached outside with an arm and grabbed something that gave a cry of 'Hey!" before it was forcibly dragged into the living room.

"Knuckwise Gamgee!"

"Why do you keep addressing me by that name?!" the echidna spreadeagled on the table where Merlin had thrown him snapped, beyond irritated.

"_Have you been eavesdropping?"_

"No! I haven't!"

"Then what were you doing outside?"

"Guarding the Master Emerald!"

That made for a bit of a pause in the conversation.

"…what?" Merlin asked, before turning to Sonic with more than slight consternation.

Sonic shrugged. "Don't ask me. Personally, I think there's been some phonetic misunderstanding when I employed him. I now have a guardian instead of a gardener, but at least he eats the termites that keep creeping up in this place. Dunno _where_ he got that giant Emerald from, but it looks nice."

"…whatever." The fox turned away from the echidna who had sat up again and was now climbing out of the window, grumbling.

"As I was saying, we need to go to Rivendell, to Rohan, and then…" and here the darkness in the corners of the room seemingly began to grow…"we need to throw that ring into the fires of Mount Doom, deep within the lands of Mordor, where the shadows lie."

Sonic felt a chill creep down his spine. "Right. Just a minute, please." He stepped out of the door, while the wizard looked around the room with an air of unease and started to collect some of the papers into a bag.

"You will need to leave soon, Sonic, and meet me in Bree. Don't dawdle. It is a long way, and there will be dangers." He strode over to a chest of drawers and lifted some dusty packages out of there, wiping the dirt off them with one hand, then spoke again: "Pack only the things necessary. The fate of Middlemobius lies in our hands."

A short, hedgehog-sized sword was unsheathed by the muttering fox' old hands, the blade glinting in the moonlight. "New abominations have been developed for this war. Snivaruman's army of Uruk-_hai_!, a race of cross-breeds from orcs and pseudo-Japanese fangirls, is already marching. If we want to move in secret, we will have to keep off the roads and-"

"Sorry, what?"

The blue hedgehog poked his head through the door again, eyes questioning.

"I _said_, we will have to leave now."

"Leave where?"

"_Will you listen?! _I just told you! To Rivendell."

"What? I just went there." Now it was Sonic's turn to frown.

"Excuse me?!"

The hedgehog took a deep breath. "I just collected that sword from Rivendell, warned Rohan of that evil wizard and threw your weird ring into that volcano. Burned my quills while at it, too. That was over two thousand miles at Mach Impossible and _ow._ So, I would really like to go to sleep now, if you don't mind…" The blue-furred Mobian, looking just a tad the worse for wear and smelling slightly barbeque-ish, hobbled into the room, dropped some metal splinters at the feet of the wizard and collapsed upon his bed sighing.

Merlin stared.

Then the door burst open and another fox rushed in, neither minding the late hour nor the wizard's odd expression.

"Uncle Merlin! Uncle Merlin! I just engineered _another_ totally anachronistic fighter jet! Wanna come see? Let's hear how those Nazgûl will screech when there's a heat-seeking, hydrogen-propelled missile coming for them at 1000 mph, right?! Oh boy, that's gonna be so _cool_!" Tails whirled around the room doing cartwheels in the air, while Sonic was already out cold, sneakers and all, ignoring the entire mayhem.

Merlin just silently bonked his head against the door, realizing that any attempt at a serious epic fantasy story with the sonic cast was utterly pointless.

_Fin_

* * *

While I do prefer Pratchett, Tolkien is just too cool to miss up on. Or alternatively totally screw around with. Review because just before I uploaded it it was still my B-day, please? :D


	4. Poetry: The Good, the Red and The Ugly

_Note: _Okay, these will be three _very _random limericks. Fan of English Everything that I am, I couldn't resist trying my hand at those. If you don't know what a limerick is, here is the definiton from ever-helpful Wikipedia...XD

"A **limerick** is a five-line poem with a strict form, originally popularized in English by Edward Lear. Limericks are frequently witty or humorous, and sometimes obscene with humorous intent."

Here we go...

* * *

**Chapter Four: The Good, the Red and the Ugly **

There was a blue hedgehog named Sonic

whose speed was by no means tectonic.

He liked Chili Dogs

And screamed when in bogs

His demise as roadkill´s ironic.

xxx

Proud Knuckles once lived on an island

Which probably should be called 'Highland'.

But one day at the ledge,

He fell over the edge –

The last words you heard were just 'Bye, land.'

xxx

Black Doom was a high alien sire,

He blasted the Station of Square in his ire.

So as Devil Doom,

Shads made him go 'poom!'

...the ramifications were dire.

_Fin_

* * *

Question: Why is Taranea putting up really bad poetry?

Answer: I wasn't joking when I said I'd write for _every _single genre. XD Plus, the latest chapter of 'Life...' just didn't want to get finished in time, so I'm stalling. T.T

Question: Okay, but why do the readers have to suffer because of that?

Answer: ...because Tails wasn't readily available today. Shut up.

Question: English teachers are not turning, but positively _drilling_ in their graves right now.

Answer: That isn't a question! I'm leaving!

Randomness aside, I'm hoping this was at least vaguely funny, and kept you entertained until chappie 30 should be ready next friday or something...until then, you can of course still vote on the poll on my profile which story should be updated more often! (Though I have a feeling the single vote that 'Sonic Drabble Drouble!' got will be withdrawn after this...see you all again soon? :D (saunters off on mini-holiday)


	5. Ficlet: Just Another Day at the Studios

**Chapter 5: Just Another Day at the Studios**

Amy Rose stood in front of the tall and forbidding gate, broad-legged and panting. With one mighty swipe of her hammer the doors flew open and crashed against the walls inside, the pink hedgehog striding into the control room of the fortress proudly.

"Your evil scheme ends here, Dr. Eggman! I went through _all _of your sick nine levels and _now_ you´re going to give me back my Sonikku!"

"What! Amy Rose!" the bearded scientist exclaimed from where he was sitting on his mechanical throne, "How is this possible?!"

"Where is he, you mean man!" the pink hedgehog asked threateningly, swinging her weapon as she looked around.

At Robotnik´s feet on the floor a chained and completely miserable hedgehog refused to raise his head. A foot nudged him from behind.

"Say it, rodent!" the human hissed, scowling "Or we´re going to be here all night."

Sonic shot a glare up at his captor but then raised his head with a forced smile.

"Amy! You´ve come to save me!"

"No, Sonic, she's come to _meet her doom_!" the Doctor proclaimed dramatically, pressing a button upon which a giant robot was raised out of an opening trapdoor in the floor.

"Hah! You'll never defeat me!" the girl declared, doing a sweet little pose and tossing her spines back defiantly.

Sonic groaned. From where he was, the chains forcing him into a supposedly 'cute' kneeling position, all he could do was watch as it was now Robotnik´s turn to launch into his pre-battle rant.

"You, Amy Rose, are no match for my latest and greatest creation! Beware of the..." he seemingly gagged slightly at the next words and looked faintly sick, but then continued with just a certain reluctance: "...the...the _Egg Horsie_!"

The battle robot neighed and reared in the center as a hatch in its head opened to admit the scientist's trademark round hover craft.

"Someone is going to pay for this…" Robotnik muttered just under his breath as the Egg Pod flew up to its fighting position. Sonic, determined to get at least a kind of dark satisfaction out of _something_ today, couldn't hide a smirk.

"NOW GET A LOAD OF THIS!"

Mechanical horse and pink hedgehog went into battle, the sounds of fighting soon echoing through the entire hall. Sonic´s mood in his prostrate position was by no means improved as further wriggling verified that he was still unable to flee and would have to watch the entire scenario. Also, this stupid chains were really _tight._ And starting to get uncomfortable, too.

_Thanks_,_ Robuttnik._

"YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY-!"

The horse actually was really beautiful. Admittedly, it _was_ trying to trample Amy, but even that it did with so much 'kawaiiness' – the blue hero shuddered – that it was hard to feel intimidated at all. (Sonic actually was rather creeped out by the disturbed horse thing. But then _he_ wasn't the one having to fight it.)

"Rose Petal Attack!" The pink girl had apparently charged up her Flower Gauge. The robot took a hit and initiated the second level.

"-THE MORE THE MERRIER!"

Sonic moaned slightly and flattened his ears. It didn't help him much as he still had to listen to the rest of the battle but finally the last 'Curses! Foiled again!' and 'Hah! Never underestimate the power of girls!" sounded through the fighting arena, ending an adventure with yet another dialogue that someone really should be shot for.

He sighed as Amy was now bounding in his direction, intent to 'rescue' her hero in distress as Robotnik made his escape in the background.

Damn that 'new female market segment'. Damn SEGA trying to imitate Nintendo and their DS games. Cause in the blue hedgehog´s opinion, the Sonic version of 'Super Princess Peach' should _never_ have been made.

_Fin_

* * *

Authors Note I: Yes, Super Princess Peach. The first game ever where Mario got abducted and his girlfriend had to save him. What Bowser _wanted_ with Mario is better left unexplored, though...

I haven´t played it, because even though I´m a girl I refuse to fight with a pink umbrella for a weapon throughout an entire game. Instead, I play badass stuff like Shadow the Hedgehog where I listen to hardrock and whack things with street signs.

Authors Note II: Sorry for the lag in updates, especially to all those of you who are waiting for a new "Life" installment. Fact is, I am in Japan right now and it is rather more stressfull than I had ever suspected. I will be back in a few weeks tho, and then catch up with review replies, other stories of you that I owe a review myself and finally get that latest chapter of Shadows Bildungsroman finished. XD

Have to go bakc to study lovely japanese right now...a review for this random skit to cheer me up, please? :D I even got the awful SEGA style dialoue right, methinks...


	6. Drabbles: Sonic Drabble Trouble

**Chapter 6: Sonic Drabble Trouble!**

_Only Natural_

Fine snow was falling, flakes dancing in the air, playful as kittens for the first time outside. Tails regarded the scenery through a window, the sun just rising above the horizon, bathing everything in bright winter light.

Beautiful.

Breathtaking.

"Yeah, absolutely friggin _great_," muttered the fox, cutting the narrator off in mid-rant, while he was dragging yet another bucket of (hopefully) ice-cold water upstairs. No, he didn't like winter mornings. And noone could blame him. Same annoying ritual _everyday_. Sighing, Tails tipped the bucket over the sleeper. Screaming followed.

Hey.

_You_ try waking a hedgehog whose body wants to hibernate.

xxx

_Curiosity Killed The Hog_

Groaning, Shadow clutched his head. The hedgehog had halted in a meadow, while red clouds were circling overhead, ominous and foreboding. A newspaper clung to his leg for a second, before fluttering away wildly in the oncoming storm.

Through tembling lips, one could barely discern the words of the Ultimate Lifeform…

"…and that…_gruesome image_…!"

Behind him, the sound of someone groaning in annoyance could be heard. Sonic stood there and was seemingly about to tear out his quills.

"Yes, Shadow, the image. Look, I _told_ you not to click on that sonadow site. Now can we _please_ finish the race?"

xxx

_First Lessons_

Cream's lips pressed themselves hotly against a squirming Sonic's mouth, the hedgehog squeezing his eyes shut as he lay helplessly underneath her. His body was aching all over from the rough abuse of the female, and Sonic was sure she'd at least broken a rib or two while they'd been going.

Up. Down. Up. Down. Sonic just wanted it to stop but couldn't bring himself to say so.

And just when he thought his sweating body _couldn't_ take it any longer, Cream smiled.

"And now…electro-shock."

At which point Sonic wished he'd _never_ agreed to be the first aid training dummy.

_Fin_

* * *

Get your minds outta the gutter, guys. XD

Righty-ho, last update from my home PC and Oz starts on Sunday. :P For the first time, actual _drabble_s in here, li'l bastards that take me two minutes to type and 13 to trim them down to 100 words exactly. Your personal favourite? ;) Hope you liked, and please review!


	7. Ficlet: Love Hurts

**Chapter 7: Love Hurts**

"Go on a date with me."

"Amy..." Sonic's expression was distinctly unhappy.

"To a café or to Twinkle Park, I don't care. I want a date."

"You already asked me twenty times this day, the _last_ one while dragging me out of a tree I'd hidden in! What _do_ I have to do to make you stop?!" the blue hedgehog waved his arms about exasperatedly, his quills in disarray from the hammer-and-mouse-chase that had lasted all morning.

"What do _I _have to do to make you take me out?!" Amy just shot back, crossing her arms in front of her chest, glaring.

"Not to mention what do _we_ have to do to get out of this," Tails muttered at that, the fox as well as Knuckles and Cream the long-suffering bystanders of this little exchange. "We actually wanted to go to Emerald Beach, watch the surf competitions…" He looked down the street leading to the ocean longingly, envying the other Mobians and humans of Station Square happily making their way through the sunshine of the grand plaza toward a wonderful afternoon. In fact, when Tails looked at the statue of the man in front of the burger bar long enough, even _this_ guy seemed happier than usual. The fox took this as a sign of cosmic injustice, or maybe just sunstroke.

"And _enter_ the Pearl Search Competitions," the echidna added. "I can't _wait_ to see that bat girl's face when I win."

At this, Amy's face suddenly lit up. "Sonic, I've got it!"

The blue hedgehog took a step backwards on the sidewalk, like a rat watching a suddenly very happy terrier. "…got what?"

"We'll have a contest, too, Sonic the Hedgehog! And if I win, you _have_ to go on a date with me!"

Emerald eyes suddenly glittered with interest. "…if _I _win, I get peace from you for the rest of the month."

The pink girl nodded. "Fair enough. What kind of contest?"

Sonic shrugged. "I don't care. Hammerthrowing's out of the question, tho!" he added as an afterthought.

Tails scratched his ear. "Well, I think it would be fair if both of you could set one condition of the contest. Then nobody can complain that the other got to make the rules. Okay?"

When Amy nodded, Sonic immediately perked up. "Okay! My condition: Whatever the contest is about, it has to be based on speed!" he said, grinning with closed eyes, secure now that he had won already. What Amy opened her mouth next, though, blue eye ridges rose in surprise.

"Right," she said, "Then it'll be a race on foot."

Sonic looked at Amy incredulously, an expression he shared with Knuckles and Tails.

"Ames? Did you get sunstroke or are you _trying_ to lose?"

The pink girl just smiled…before pulling out her latest purchase, which were two very similar pairs of shoes from her shopping. "I haven't finished yet, Sonic…because _my_ condition is that the race has to be run in _8-inch high-heels_."

xxx

Later on, almost everyone agreed that it had indeed been a very entertaining day even if they had missed the other competitions, and all of them found that Sonic and Amy _did_ make a very cute couple where they were sitting at the ice cream café. The blue hedgehog had actually consented to sit still for more than three hours on end so far.

But of course, with a horribly sprained ankle only ten seconds into the race, Sonic had had very little say in the matter anyway.

_Fin_

* * *

Just another example how drabbles are so often inspired by real life. Wrote this on the day before my leaver's ball and this idea came to me when I, the girl only ever seen in sneakers, was stalking through the shoe store in _my_ new high heels, feeling utterly ridiculous. Dresses. Scoff. Gimme shorts and running shoes any day.

But suffering shared means suffering halved, I've heard, and imaginary characters have the advantage that they can't fight back…XD

Physically still on Tasmania, btw, (and managed to see an echidna! - brown, spiky amorphous mass wriggling between rocks with no recognizable features, but still an echidna!!) but mentally, my location is currently a rather distinct blue policebox...new fandom equals LOVE. Please review? :)


	8. Poetry: The Cute, The Bad and The Nutty

**Chapter 8: The Cute, the Bad and the...Nutty?**

There was a cute fox cub called Tails,

Who for breakfast just loved to eat snails.

His blue friend was revolted,

To the bathroom he bolted

And Miles Prower grinned: 'Never fails.'

xxx

The Ultimate Lifeform named Shadow

Was badass and cursed like the ghetto.

But one thing terrified him,

He screamed 'Gods, just _burn_ them!'

It was the bane of his life called Sonadow.

xxx

Rouge's thieving experience's ample,

Of her skills she often gives sample;

For when Knux had assembled

His one precious Em'rald,

That bat stole the entire temple.

_Fin_

* * *

Aaand awful poetry round two! Rest assured, tho, there won't be any more of this. I think. I have no clue how that first one came into existence, either. XD Please read and...rant? ;)


	9. Ficlet: Nothing but a Name

Annotation: A What-if AU. No prior knowledge required, you just should know that Blaze is a pyrokinetic purple cat and queen of some other dimension. Set a few years in the future. Just go with the flow in this case. :)

* * *

**Chapter Nine: Nothing But A Name**

„Sonic? What are you doing at my computer?" Tails was poking his head through the door of his living room and looked at the blue hedgehog quizzically. Sonic was sitting in front of the flat screen, his chin lying on one folded arm as he was staring up at the text with an annoyed, hopeless expression, head tilted slightly upwards. His other hand was scrolling down whatever website he was reading with sonic speed.

"Trying to find a name."

"A name? What na-"

"Tails, I´m gonna be a dad in a month! Blaze and I _still_ haven´t decided what to call our kid!" the blue hedgehog had raised his head and was now facing the fox with the somewhat panicky expression all soon-to-be fathers seem to wear most of the time.

"And you´re looking in the internet for that?" Tails asked, a slight smile tugging at his lips as he stepped up and next to Sonic. "Are you that desperate?"

"Last resort," muttered his older friend, "but I´m gonna quit now, anyway. I even asked in forums for any suggestions, and anything I got was replies of squealing, disturbed people wanting to know whether it was Shadow or me that was pregnant."

Tails winced. "Ouch."

"Yeah. Sometimes I think I shouldn't bother saving this world the next time around." Sonic commented dryly, while Tails chuckled, knowing his adopted brother didn't mean that anyway. "Don't _you_ have any suggestions, big guy?" the hedgehog asked finally, leaning back in his chair and looking up hopefully at the fox still standing next to him.

"Uh, well…boy or girl?"

"No idea. Blaze wants it to be a 'surprise'. Meaning I have to find _two_ names." He scowled.

"Okay." Tails leaned with one hand on the desk, his expression thoughtful. "How about…'Anne'?"

Sonic snorted. "Don't be ridiculous. What kind of a name is that? Everybody knows _normal_ people are named after objects, attributes, or, in your case, bad puns."

"Hey!"

"Maybe I should do what Knux' mom did. Wait until he or she's born, check whether they have any obvious deformities and then name them after _that_ for the rest of their life."

Tails rolled his eyes. "In this case, I think every court would see patricide as self-defence."

"Huh? What are you two doing here?" Knuckles had just strolled into the room and cut off Sonic before the hedgehog could shoot back a reply, "I was just about to buy those spare parts I need in the city, but I think I heard my name."

The fox chuckled. "Yeah, Sonic just said something really funny about your mom, and he-"

"_-praised _her for her creativity_._ Yeah." Sonic's hand had clamped shut over Tails' mouth with lightning speed. "Tails, you ever considered the idea I wanted to be _there_ when Blaze had that kid and not, I dunno, lie in the other hospital wing twenty corridors away_?!" _he hissed, while the kitsune had to giggle.

"Okay, whatever." The echidna looked at them with slight irritation. "But you still didn't answer my question."

"We're trying to come up with a name for Sonic's kid!" Tails grinned. "Any ideas?"

"Well…" the echidna had sat down, scratching his head. "It´s traditional to name someone for their attributes, I think."

"That's great, Knux. I'll just wait until they're a few years old and actually display any specific traits. Before that, who needs a name anyway?" Groaning, Sonic added: "This isn't going _anywhere_…"

Knuckles glared. "No need to become offensive. It would be only natural if your kid inherited anything from you – why not call them Speedo?"

Sonic's head hit the desk with an audible thunk, while Tails explained to the echidna the finer points of male human beach fashion. It was safe to say that Knuckles twitched more than once.

"How about 'Manic', then?" he asked, weakly.

"That sounds like my kid had permanent ADHD. No, thanks."

Knuckles scowled at the hedgehog, while Tails tapped his chin. "Well, if it's a male hedgehog, the name should start with an 'S', anyway. It's a nice tradition."

"Puh-lease, that already stopped being original when we were on dreamcast. 'Silver' is even worse."

"Are you talking about me?"

"What, is there a nest or something?!" Sonic stared up at the floating hedgehog, who had just materialized out of thin air.

"No, I actually just came from the future to warn you. Again."

Sonic stood up, alarmed. "What, is it Solaris?"

Silver shook his head. "Nope. You just gave your kid a terrible name there. I'm here to prevent that."

Sonic idly wondered whether curling up in fetal position would mean falling off his chair.

"That's great, Silver!" Tails piped up, "We're just here to choose one."

"You know, maybe we shouldn't-" Sonic tried to interrupt, but to no avail. Everyone else seemed to find the whole thing rather entertaining.

"A fur colour is also quite common," Tails went on, "Names like Amber, Ebon, or Aqua can be quite pretty."

"Yeah, but with Blaze's genes involved in the end I´d probably end up with Mauve or Violet and they either sound like a 100-year-old granny or some prissy fanchar."

"Huh, you're picky. Maybe we should ask some of the others? A little bit of female influence, perhaps?"

Sonic grimaced. "Already did that."

Knuckles raised an eyebrow. "…and?"

"Well…Amy suggested a few names. Most of them were for Blaze and none of them repeatable in polite society, though."

Silver mouthed a silent 'O'. Then: "Well, what about Shadow?"

"_He_ suggested a double name. Maria-Maria."

"Single-minded guy, huh?" Knuckles chuckled, before suddenly adding: "By the way, have you thought about ' Martha Emerald' as a name?"

"The thing that scares me is that this is the sanest suggestion I've heard so far." Sonic sat down again, sighing.

"What about Rouge?" Silver wondered and Knuckles cocked his head in interest.

"Gave me a gem dictionary. _And_ said I'd have to pay for it."

"Eh…Big?"

"I´m not _that_ desperate."

"Well, what did Chris suggest, then?"

"Omgpleasesavemesonic."

"_What_?" the three other Mobians asked simultaneously.

"Do I know? That's what he _always_ says when he sees me, though, isn't it?"

"Yeah..."

They all stared into space for a moment, wondering whether they could suggest anything new.

"Hey! How about something exotic, foreign?" Silver asked enthusiastically, his hands spread wide.

"A name from another language?" Sonic was intrigued. "Like what?"

"Wiener Schnitzel. Or maybe Pretzel, if she's acrobatic."

Sonic gave the metallic-hued hedgehog the staring equivalent of 'wtf', while Knuckles and Tails fell from the couch laughing.

"Dude? Are you _insane_?"

"I apologize. I admit, I was getting hungry."

"…they should have called you 'Psycho' instead, you know?."

"They planned to, but wanted to keep that game K-rated." The time-traveller shrugged. "Anyway, we're getting off topic. How about we go grab something to eat? One thing I always love about this era is the food."

"Which is why you always show up at lunch time to warn about future destruction, yes." Sonic smirked, his arms crossed and head tilted to the side.

"What can I say? There's only so much Soylent Green a psychic hedgehog can take. Shall we hit the burger joint?"

"I guess we might as well," Knuckles replied instead of Sonic, "Maybe we'll find some inspiration there?"

"I vote yes!" Tails said, smiling and already hopping down from his chair to lead the way to the door. Sonic, who could see he was outnumbered, sighed. "Alright. But what inspiration we could possibly get from stuffing our faces with our favourite food is beyond me."

--

Approximately one month later, there was a huge celebration at the royal castle as a proud mother and father presented the first hedgecat heir of the throne to the people. Everybody had fallen in love with the princess immediately, and only a few stuffed-up nobles muttered behind their hands that in _their_ humble opinion, 'Chili' was _so _not appropriate.

_Fin_

* * *

Well, short and strange, what do you expect in this collection? XD Credit for part of the inspiration of course goes to 'Who's your Daddy?' by Dragonbreath1, an excellent story in its own right, which made me adore the Sonlaze pairing. Go read it! …and please review beforehand? ;)

Also, if there's no further updates from now on, it probably means that I have fallen off Mt Warning that I'll attempt to climb on wednesday and it is friggin _raining. _I'm really looking forward to going to Queensland, but didn't plan on drowning while I was there...gods, for the first time I understand Sonic. ;) Reviews to cheer me up? :P


	10. Drabbles: Double Drabble Trouble!

**Chapter 10: Double Drabble Trouble!**

_Afterwards You Know_

Sonic knew he was going to die.

Or more specifically, he was going to be killed – and probably skinned, maimed and tortured beforehand.

Death would be mercy.

_To think that Sonic the Hedgehog, hero of Mobius, will finally find his end and it isn't even at the hands of Robotnik_, shot through his head. _Pretty much my own fault, too. _

Then again, maybe not.

Maybe he still had some time before Knuckles returned.

_And maybe, _Sonic thought as he frantically tried to reassemble the green shards, _just maybe I __shouldn't__ have practiced my spin-dash that close to the Master Emerald._

xxx

_Love?_

Beautiful.

Simple, brightly shining beauty lay in these emeralds and Rouge could not help but be hopelessly lost in fascination. But yet, there was more. They were embedded in delicate rose quartz, which was gleaming softly in the evening twilight. Threads of ruby traversed it in places…and when she smiled, there were diamonds. Gold rings decorated her treasure, yet insignificant compared to the rest of the figure.

But even as Rouge watched Amy, she still wasn't sure whether she loved the girl, or was still in love with herself, merely mourning her own lost innocence that the young still possessed.

xxx

_Playing Rough_

Once again, thrown out into the cold.

The three hedgehog orphans shivered on the pavement, mentally cursing the heartless people inside the sheltered building. Snow fell heavily from a dark sky, the streets deserted and dangerous, yet the place full of warmth and light they were denied… tears ran down the rose-coloured girl's cheeks, the two males trying to comfort her futilely.

It was not fair.

Then again, with Silver constantly cheating on the UFO-catchers, Sonic overheating the DDR-machine and Amy having a critical misunderstanding with the hit-the-crocodiles hammer game, the eviction from the Arcade could only have been expected.

_Fin_

* * *

I can't believe I wrote something even remotely to do with Yuri. O.o Hope you enjoyed those drabbles, tho! :D Just back from one awesome dive trip on the Great Barrier Reef - might be Sonic's worst nightmare, but for me there's scarcely something cooler than water. ;) Please read and review?


	11. Drabbles: Sonic Crossing next 10km!

**Chapter 11: Three Crossovers That Never Happened**

_It's a Magical World_

He had sent green death. He had sent red torture, too, dozens of times. All ineffectual. His followers were either knocked down or had fled in the face of this demon. The wizard screamed in frustration as yet another projectile was dodged and swirled harmlessly into darkness. And it was mocking him. _Mocking HIM!_

Even the boy was still alive. The entire night a giant failure.

"What monster is this?! Who owns this menace?!"

The blue 'demon' perched on a gravestone, grinning at the Dark Lord.

"I kinda own myself, Voldy-poldy. And contrary to you, I even own a nose."

xxx

_Power Player_

Destruction. Death. Chaos, fire and power, this was what he lived for! The creature laughed in his rampage, the screams of the figures below him a symphony of terror in his jagged ears. That yellow rat had gone down first. Boring. The elf-boy with his sword had been more interesting…for two seconds. That Italian plumber that was supposed to be Sonic's rival?! How pitiful! The hedgehog cackled in his madness.

The stage was empty, the crowd was cheering and he reigned alone, sweeping over the field before utter annihilation would follow.

Fun.

Yes, Fleetway Super _liked_ being in SSB Brawl.

xxx

_Through the Looking Glass_

_"My name is Shad Tyler. I got hit by a speeding blue lunatic and woke up fifty years in the past. Am I mad, in a coma, or in the second part of my awful first game? Whatever's happened, it's like I'm in a crackfic - again. Now maybe if I can kill the author, I can get home."_

Sonic's expression as he watched the protagonist monologuing on the Thorndyke's TV screen was about as plastic as the letters 'WTF' could get.

He was damned to hell if he knew what this 'Life On Mobius' was supposed to be about.

_Fin_

* * *

Okay, so hands up for _anybody_ who got the third drabble. I'd be surprised. ;) As always, thanks for any and all reviews to warm me up in cold, cold Wellington in New Zealand - that's right, WINTER in the southern hemisphere! :P Talking of crossovers, tho, I'm very happy to announce a multi-chaptered one in the works - supersonic hedgehogs and time-travelling phone boxes, anyone? ;)

See you in the comment section! :D


	12. Ficlet: Heard of the NEWEST Game Yet?

Author's Note: Yeah, well, so this is _way_ late. I wrote this ages ago but then totally forgot about it, so mayyyybe not quite up-to-date anymore, but hopefully still a bit funny. ;) This ficlet is connnected to the earlier one, 'Heard Of the New Game Yet?' and picks up where that one ends, so you might want to re-read the first one. Please enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 12: Heard of the **_**Newest**_** Game Yet? **

"…so, right," one of the Sonic Chronicles robots began, "we have rolled the dice to determine initiative, but since my character is an Elf, I get a bonus of plus 3 for my first roll, so-"

"_Tails_…" Sonic was pulling at his ears by now. "Please tell me that this is not true!"

The little fox did not reply, but instead Shadow and the Commander of the Egg Pawns could be heard arguing. Apparently it was about whether the Normal or Advanced Dungeons and Dragons rules applied to robot-elves, and like all civilized RPG-players they were trying to solve their dispute by seeing who could yell louder.

"This is like the ultimate convention of nerds, Tails. As soon as somebody puts on a pair of Spock-ears and wants to play Magic I swear I'm outta here. Tails?" the hedgehog turned his head, frowning as he still didn't get a reply and then raised an eye ridge. Apparently, his li'l bro actually wasn't even watching the 'fight' anymore but had sat down on the grass, reading something on his laptop with eyes wide open.

"…Sonic? Remember when I confused your game with Twilight Princess?"

"Yeah. Protagonist turning into wolf with strange midget, right? Pretty whacko series."

"Well, I have good news and bad news. Good news first?" Tails suddenly looked really rather worried and Sonic cocked his head, confused.

"What?"

"I, uh, checked out your really _latest _game yet, the one that picks up after the SonicNextgen storyline. So, they have new plans for you and the _good_ news is that in your game they at least got rid of the midget…"

"_What?!" _Sonic was clutching at his heart, trying to keep breathing, while Tails frantically attempted to minimize the damage.

"Maybe it's not that bad! '_Sonic: Unleashed'_ is only the working title, and even if there _were_ screenshots of you as a werewolf, it might not be-!"

"It _can_ only get better than Sonic Chronicles," Knuckles grated. He had managed to escape the Marauders some time ago, but threatened to personally bite anybody's nose off who made another joke about him getting sorted into Hufflepuff.

"You sure?" Sonic asked, still looking panicked. "What's with that werewolf thing, then?"

"Uhm…" Tails scrolled down the laptop screen again. "Well, the info's really scarce right now, but it seems the player will occasionally have to play as an alternate, dark self of yours with special powers…"

"Oh, yeah." Shadow, who had managed to win the debate by smashing the robot's skull in with the 3 tons Expert D&D Manual, wandered over to them and jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "Almost forgot to tell you. There's some weird Persian Prince on your case for that. Claims copyright infringements. "

"Whatever!" Sonic threw his hands in the air, exasperated, "I feel like really hurting somebody right now, so if this Prince wants to roll, I'll be _glad_ to oblidge. Where is he?"

"Last time I saw him, he was talking to Silver and wanted to know where that hedgehog had got hold of his sand," Shadow replied, indicating with a hand motion that he obviously thought the human gaga.

"…I won't even ask." Sonic sighed. "Anything else you'd like to brighten up my day with, Tails?"

"Yes, actually, they'll use the mechanics of Secret Rings again and it's really fast!" The kit smiled. "Plus, the story sounds interesting. Robotnik has found a way to suck the power out of Super Sonic, but something goes wrong…"

"Well, that's at least original," Sonic nodded. "Maybe that game won't be so bad after all…"

"Uhh…" now the fox didn't really look Sonic in the eyes as he continued, "Well, theresalsoanewcharacterBUT-!"

"_Not again!_" the whole cast groaned and the blue hedgehog had put a hand in front of his eyes. "I swear, there has to be a _nest_ somewhere…I mean, Silver wasn't bad, at least he gave those crazed sonadow fangirls someone _else_ to pair up with Shads for a change, but right now it's just getting too much. Couldn't we maybe ask Chaos for a kind of second Flood or something? We already have an ARK…"

"That is _my_ home and there are no dogs allowed, Hyde-Hog." Shadow smirked, while Sonic felt tempted to throw the entire laptop with all of the damn werewolf pictures at the other. Instead, though, the blue hero crossed his arms and scowled.

"Go eat garlic, Faker. Honestly, why would anyone want to buy a game like _that?_"

Tails shrugged, defiantly. "Well, I think it's cool. After all, it's a completely new gameplay – the werehog looks almost like you, but is physically stronger, evil-looking and able to _transform_! We never had anything like that before…"

Somewhere even farther off, Robotnik was having a really hard time comforting a bawling Metal Sonic.

"Hmmph. At least I hope it's good enough to finally shut up all those whinebags with their endless 'Sonic-rips-off-Zelda' complaints…" Sonic muttered as the Lakitu-camera panned back to him, raising an eye ridge as Tails at that moment held out an item to him.

"Li'l buddy? That's the Master Sword. Why do you have it?"

"Uh…it actually just arrived for you in this package. Sonic and the Black Knight promo pack, sound familiar?"

_Sonic the Hedgehog: Emerald of Time coming 2009 _

Fin

_

* * *

_Heh, so much for that. Haven't played BK so far, but just finished SU, so looking forward to that - straight after Ookami. ;) I have a feeling I have a _little _too much free time on my hands...just kidding. Hope you liked, and if you read, please review! :)


	13. Drabbles: Sonic Triple Drabble Trouble!

**Chapter 13: Sonic Triple Drabble Trouble! **

_Loss_

The giant form of Iblis burst from the lava, but Sonic stood fearless.

Iblis screamed, and rocks tumbled. Sonic dodged, and leapt for the attack.

Jumped.

Curled.

Had never expected to miss when it counted.

_NO!_

A blue body hit the flames, and burnt.

Tails smiled in the dark. "Told you so, Sonic..."

"Aaah! That _bastard_!"

Tails sighed as Sonic threw the controller across the room and could only shake his head as his brother yelled at the TV some more. Sometimes, he really thought he should never have bought him that Xbox, and certainly NEVER Sonic '06.

xxx

_Catch Him If You Can_

Silver was running. Fleeing in sheer terror.

Clueless _why_ these people were chasing him. No idea _what_ they were constantly throwing at him, either.

Another apocalyptic monster burst forth from thin air right next to him, and the (now screaming) telekinetic hedgehog of course also hadn't got the faintest why _this_ was happening.

All he knew was that it had started when he'd stumbled through this strange portal...

And so the time-traveler just continued running for his life, completely oblivious to the screams of 'A SILVER MEW! _GET IT_!' of the entire horde of Pokémon trainers hot on his heels.

xxx

_Legend of Sonic? _

Sonic the Hedgehog hated, hated, _hated_ the Zelda Series with all his heart.

Getting turned into a Werehog at night had not been so bad (at least his midget hadn't ridden on him...)

Playing knight with a sword had actually been kind of fun.

But _this_...

"Legendary Hedgehog, you need to come down. We gotta save the world!"

"No way!"

"But-"

"NO! WAY!"

Marine, the talking raccoon-boat sighed and looked around once more.

Mobius: Under Water.

Sonic: Hiding up in a palm tree and clinging on for dear life.

No, SEGA really hadn't thought this through...

_Fin

* * *

_

Drabbles. They're essentially the comic strips I would draw if I had the faintest spark of talent. :P

And heyyy, new chapter-y...thing...up for you, despite me being basically suffocating due to finals. OhgodsImgonnafail. XD Also doesn't help that I recently re-discovered Detective Conan fanfic and developed an unhealthy fascination with Kaitou Kid (fanfic recs? XD), I suppose...^^° But yeah, if you read, please review? :3


	14. Ficlet: Sonic XMen: First Viewing

**Chapter 14: X-Mobians: First Viewing**

The sun had already sunk low beneath the sky line of Station square and the street lamps and billboard ads were bathing the sidewalks in their neon lights as a troupe not less colourful than the illuminations was just emerging from the double doors of one of the more popular blockbuster cinemas, the six Mobians and one robot in question in obvious high spirits, still discussing and chattering animatedly about the latest movie they had just seen.

"Heh, wow, what a show!" One of the younger ones, a young fox with his cheek fur full of popcorn crumbs, was grinning from ear to ear. "I liked Professor X, but my favourite is still Beast. It would be fun working on a jet plane with him."

"Yeah, I liked him, too. The poor guy, only trying to get the girl," the other smaller Mobian walking next to him sighed, a pretty hedgehog female in a red dress. A scoff from behind her cut her off.

"Figures. I reckon you'd probably like anyone if they were blue and fluffy," a dark voice commented, the black and red-striped hedgehog it belonged to looking aloof and disinterested, as if he was trying to state to the whole world that he had been dragged into this movie against his will and had only gone because the white-furred bat girl next to him had made him. Predictably, a red hammer appeared almost instantly in Amy's hands, the pink Mobian now furious.

"_That is so not true!" _

"Relax, Ames, Shads is only teasing. 'sides, I liked the furry guy, too." A gloved hand laid itself calmingly on the raised peach-furred arm with the red hammer and the blue hedgehog it belonged to tried to smile at the fuming younger female. "Now let's put that hammer down and not have a repeat of the scene last week when Shadow said that this Johnny Depp character looked better with Mascara than you, right?"

"Really? You liked Beast as well?" Tails gave his older brother a bright grin, ignoring what seemed to be a more than familiar routine between the three hedgehogs, just happy that for once their favourite character seemed to be the same one. "Cool, and I thought you'd go for one of them with flashier abilities, not the...you know, the geeky one," the little fox managed, actually more looking at his feet than at the older hedgehog he was addressing, a small, almost embarrassed grin on his face. The hero of Mobius reached down and ruffled the head fur of his kid brother.

"Hey, 'course I do. It's what's inside that counts – although I gotta admit that super-running ability he had helped a little and blue fur _does _look good on anyone..."

Tails and Rouge laughed, Amy (with a bit of a blush) as well, while Knuckles rolled his eyes and Shadow predictably only snorted, until Tails pointed out, "Hey, that's actually true, you share do share more than one trait with him – if we were the X-men, you'd totally be Beast!" he started excitedly, waving his near-empty coke-cup around in a way that suggested Sonic wouldn't give the kit any more sugar any time soon. The black hedgehog behind them coughed into his hand.

"The faker? Hardly, kit. Or need I point out that your personal hero is lacking in the brains department enough that an _actual _beast could outsmart him? Or, for that matter, a roomba?"

"Oy!" The blue hedgehog bristled at the insult, turning around to glare at his smug darker doppelgänger with crossed arms. "Calling me too dumb to be the Beast? A bit rich, coming from the guy whose only mutant superpower would probably be to turn into the _Incredible Sulk_, if you ask me..."

"Uh, actually, Bruce Baxter isn't a mutant, that was gamma radiation and-" Tails tried to point out in the patient voice of somebody who sometimes quietly wished his friends were as easy to handle as plastic-sealed comic books, but nobody was paying attention to him, anyway. The group had stopped walking as now Shadow, too, had raised his quills and narrowed his red eyes at Sonic's trademark cocky grin, apparently torn between either having to play this childish game now or admitting 'defeat' in the Battle of Snark that he had initiated himself. In the end, it might have been either the mischievous twinkle in the eyes of the other that made it almost impossible not to rise to any challenge the fastest thing alive posed, or it might have been the fact that yes, there had been one particular mutant Shadow had identified with almost a tad too much – even if he'd rather have choked on his own nachos to admit as much - but whatever it was, it did make the self-declared Ultimate Lifeform rise to the bait.

"Excuse me? _I'm_ the dark anti-hero. I'd be Magneto, and if I were, that mutant equivalent of a hippie Xavier wouldn't have stood a chance of stopping me during three consecutive movies," he said, poking the now devilishly smirking blue hedgehog hard into his chest, "You, on the other hand, wouldn't be the Beast, but some mutant whose only super-power it was to talk too much, too fast, and all of it nonsense."

"I _think_ you mean the Doctor, but that's the wrong sci-fi series," Tails again tried to point out, but wasn't being heard.

"You, Magneto?" Sonic shot back instead. "I can see where you're coming from when you look at the guy's god complex and zany colour scheme, but all that stopping-rockets-midflight-and-throwing-them-back stuff is more Silver's gig, I think..."

Shadow shook his head, ignoring the barb. "No. He's a telekinetic, and my character only influences metal. Silver the Hedgehog's would obviously be that Jean Grey woman."

Sonic cocked his head. "Really? You think? On the other hand, he _does _have a femmy quill style, come to think of it-"

Knuckles finally uttered his first words since they had come out of the theatre and grabbed the shoulders of both hedgehogs to push them along and get the group moving again.

"Right, that's enough of this. This argument is silly, there are no mutants here, and I want to get to Tails' place so he can fly me up to Angel Island again before the Emerald gets stolen by someone who _wasn't_ forced to watch CGI madness in a movie theatre that the hedgehog bane of his life produces all the time _anyway_, so get moving."

"So says the Juggernaut. Ow!" Sonic commented as he was subjected to another ungentle punch by the echidna into his arm. Luckily, Rouge stepped to the red Mobian's side to distract him.

"Heyhey, Knuxie, I wouldn't be so fast to dismiss that discussion. I mean, if you look at it, you five could easily be classified as mutants by that movie's standards. In fact_, I'm_ the only normal one in the group. Though if I had to choose," she added with a bat-fanged smile, letting flattened ears perk up again, "I'd say I'd be...Mystique. Suits my nature," she finished with a wink.

Knuckles gave her a flat stare. "Yeah, right. _I_ think you'd be that freaky ginger bat guy, you squeal at glass-shattering pitch whenever you see the Master Emeral-dammit, no _kicking_!" the Guardian of Angel Island yelled, just evading the precarious attack of a pink-tipped boot. Rouge hissed, but in truth it only contributed to the general entertainment.

"Look, I'm not saying I even _like_ these movies. This was the fifth one of these travesties Sonic made us go to and they're still too cheap to even have _one_ Mobian actor on there," Knuckles said, trying to calm the bat girl as the mixed group was finally moving along the nightly sidewalk again. "Not that I particularly care but..."

"True, though," Amy said. "And seems to me they're not too inclusive of their own kind, either. Did you see? There was, like, one non-white mutant in the entire movie and he literally bit the dust not even an hour in. Jurassic Park from the nineties called, they want their Black Guy Dies First shtick back."

Sonic lifted a mock-lecturing finger. "Hey, don't accuse that movie of being racist. _X-men_ is the only franchise that teaches kids that even blue and red people are a-okay!"

"Faker, one of the blue ones is a deceiving murderess, and the red guy is a psycho killer without a single line of dialogue. Who also looks like the devil incarnate."

Sonic looked at Shadow, his smile faltering just the tiniest bit. "Ah. Right. Well, _okay, _but I mean, the _message-_"

"Extends to 'Explosions Are AWESOME!', Sonic," Knuckles cut the fumbling hero off. "A thesis you unfortunately agree with," he added under his breath.

"If I was a mutant from any movie, I think I'd like to be Archangel," Tails said, not having heard the last part or deciding to ignore it to bring the topic back on track, "I could still fly, and he seems tough but is still a nice enough guy who saves people," the two-tail stated with the conviction of a nine-year old who obviously had put a lot of thought into that particular problem. Sonic laughed.

"Alright then, big guy, if we're picking sides, then...hm, I don't think there are quite _any_ mutants in the movies just as cool as yours truly, but...maybe Wolverine. Main character immunity is hard to beat," he grinned.

"Plus you could do with the healing ability for your hare-brained stunts," Knuckles pointed out patiently, ignoring the exclamation of protest next to him. Tails was already bouncing next to him anyway.

"And you, Knuckles? Which mutant would you be?"

"The one that gets left alone by all the other ones? In peace?" The red echidna asked hopefully, wondering whether the walk from the train station to the cinema had taken that long the _first_ time, too. Tails blinked.

"Uh, that would be Wolverine, too. But Sonic's already picked that one, so-"

"Why don't you be Professor X, Knuckles?" Amy suggested. "You'd get to stay in a quiet villa all day, after all."

The echidna snorted. "In a wheel chair. Not really my style. On the bright side, though, I could brain wash Sonic into jumping into the ocean, so there would be perks." This drew a chuckle from everyone this time, except the hero of Mobius who made a face as if he'd bitten in a lemon.

"Most of my friends' first thought of a use for their mutant power is how it could be useful in killing me. Lovely. You know, I think if I was Wolverine I could as well speed the whole thing up and deliver myself into the hands of Eggman playing the von Stryker guy."

"Aww, come on, I'd never let anything happen to you!" Amy cooed, snuggling herself against his arm, idly letting the blue hero wonder whether there were any mutants that perhaps had tentacle powers. "I'd totally be a mutant strong enough to protect you. Maybe I'd have that explosions power from that gambling guy. I like cards. Or I could unleash a devastating storm, like the one that controls the weather."

"Yeah, or like that Rogue chick who sucks her lover dry," Rouge whispered at the same time into Sonic's ear while Amy at his other side was still chattering on, having the satisfaction of seeing the blue hero wilting ever so little at this projection.

_Why did I even bring anyone to this movie except Tails...?_

"Awesome, now we all have characters!" the fox kit cheered at this point, "Now we'd only need a team name!"

"Fine, though I swear by the Master Emerald, if 'Wolverine' here so much as breathes a single _word_ about 'Teamwork' or the power thereof, all the healing abilities in the world won't save him, just so we're clear," Knuckles grumbled, shooting Sonic in Amy's death grip a preventive glare. The echidna had _not_ forgotten the hedgehog's attempts at horrid pep-talks during that whole Metal Sonic business.

"How about the S-Men?" Amy suggested instead brightly. "S for Sonic, of course!"

Shadow raised an eye ridge. "That name, girl, only needs an additional 'e' to be the official worst team name in comic book history," he said, and Amy blushed a fierce crimson, Rouge giggling and Tails looking on cluelessly while Sonic fervently hoped the kid wouldn't ask.

"Err, why, why not X-Mobians?" the blue hedgehog interjected quickly instead, changing the name up for discussion. They had also just arrived at the train station by now, and Knuckles was looking forward to the next one taking them straight back to Mystic Ruins so Tails could fly him home, thereby ending that discussion permanently.

"X...Mobians..." Rouge tried the name, but didn't seem too overwhelmed. "I don't know, seems a bit...derivative to me."

"Hey," Sonic piped up suddenly, "How about _Sonic X_?"

There was a moment of silence. Then:

"...if they ever introduce a non-mutant, unnecessary kid character in _X-Men_, I hope Wolverine _guts_ him."

Everyone agreed.

_Fin_

* * *

Hi there!^^ Heh, yes, updates have finally resumed, even if it *might* have seemed like I died - sadly, someone in my family did, so that's what caused the fic-writing hiatus...but there will be updates, no worries. Just don't know how frequent, but Burning Arrow, Wildfire Heart is definitely the next to go up. :) Thanks for all your reviews, hope you liked! :D


End file.
